My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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