Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize