This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
My cat gives me a boner
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
