Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
