My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I could have mohawked her pubes.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Randomize