the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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