its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
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Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
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