found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
