Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
she pinky promised me she was 18
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
