Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
