the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Randomize
