i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure