Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
23 Absolutely Despicable Things That People Have Actually Done
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro