I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
you made out with another girl for some wings
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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