I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
