that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
