Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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