i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
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He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
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I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
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