Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
