If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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