Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Did I show you my penis last night?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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