As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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