I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
