there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
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