Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
