Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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