so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Randomize