I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
But we have bathrooms and they dont
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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