He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
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