margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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