i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
