you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I wish you could order shots online.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
