No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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