I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Randomize
