What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Randomize
