I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
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