I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Well I just put wine in my tea
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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