i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
