you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Randomize
