there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
