I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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