My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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