problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
