just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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