At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
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