someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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