Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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