I feel great
I just peed on a car
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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