I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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