Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
