That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
