do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
