Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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