having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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