she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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