playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
