it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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