You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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