Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
